| |
|
|
Directions
to NYSMF in Oneonta, NY
Via NASA Space Shuttle
FEB 20, 2010: We greatly regret to report that the United States Space Shuttle Program will be terminated after the NYSMF 2010 season. Travel to NYSMF via this magnificent means of transport will no longer be possible once the shuttles are officially retired. If you would like to purchase one of the shuttles for your own collection of vehicles, such as Jay Leno does with ancient automobiles, you may order one at the greatly reduced price of $28,000,000. Training, solid rocket boosters, and external fuel tanks are not included in the purchase price. Spare engines are available at no charge beyond shipping and handling.
Here are
detailed instructions on the best way to join us via the United
States Space Shuttle.
- Join
the US Astronaut
Corps.
- Train
for five to 20 years. IMPORTANT: Remember not to wash out!
- Earn
an assignment as PILOT or MISSION COMMANDER of a shuttle
mission. Classified missions are fine as long as you keep your
mouth shut.
- Go
through the entire launch sequence, and achive orbit. You may complete
your mission imperatives if you so desire.
- Initiate
landing procedures for landing at the Kennedy
Space Center, but you will have to burn some reserve manuevering
fuel to change your trajectory to pass over Oneonta, NY.
NOTE: Please do NOT "eyeball" the numbers unless you want to risk
skipping off the atmosphere and into deep space!
- Land
the shuttle on Route I-88 as close to exit 15 as you are able.
Please note that Maple Street and Ravine Parkway will not provide you with
a long enough runway to land safely, nor will the surrounding foliage permit
you to deploy your drag chute effectively.
- Allow
the hatch to cool from the 3000-degree fahernheit re-entry temperatures,
and deploy emergency exit measures. NOTE: You will have to
jump from the open hatch to the ground appx. 20 feet below, as
we will not be able to wheel out an exit gantry to your location.
- Thumb
a ride up to the NYSMF site on the campus of SUNY Oneonta, or contact
local taxi and limousine service. A
complete list is available here.
You will
likely have to rent an instrument when you arrive, seeing that there
is precious little cargo space in the shuttle to transport any kind
of musical instrument barring kazoos, mouth harps, and bagpipes.
Instruments are available on a first-come, first-served basis. Click
here for more information on intrument rental at NYSMF.
Questions? Please
email Keisuke Hoashi, the NYSMF Director of Communications,
if you are as insane as he is for writing this page.
THANKS
TO (AND APOLOGIES TO) NASA FOR THE COPYRIGHTED IMAGES OF THE SHUTTLE
ON THIS PAGE
|
|
 |
